7 Self-Love Rituals for Valentine’s Day

It’s that time of year where everything is about love, but the most important thing you can remember about love is this: Love is not outside of you.

Love is within you. Love is your divine nature.

It’s easy to forget that, but it’s true. The rituals below will help you connect to the love already within you, and most importantly give it to yourself.

For all of these rituals, you might like to incorporate:

• Rose quartz, to open your heart chakra

• Clear quartz, to amplify the energy

• Myrrh incense, a healing scent associated with feminine energy, the moon, and the water element

Try just one of these rituals, or try them all throughout the month. Each of these rituals will be more powerful the more you do them, so find one you like and make it part of your routine this month.

Create Something

Nothing gets the energy of love flowing like creativity. Do a coloring meditation, make a vision board, cook a nourishing meal, write a poem, paint with watercolors, play an instrument, or create your own yoga flow.

Whatever you’d like to do, create a sacred space and tap into your creative energy.

Get this coloring page here

Here's also a fun idea for a self-love ritual where you can play with your creativity:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cassie Uhl (@cassieuhl)

Tarot or Oracle Card Spread

Tarot and oracle cards are amazing magical tools for self-reflection and connecting with your intuition. Try this three-card spread with your favorite deck:

1. What is holding me back from loving myself right now?

2. What might I experience if I give myself the love I desire?

3. How can I deepen my love for myself?

Don't know how to get started? Check out this blog post for tarot, or this post for the ultimate tarot guide. If you feel called to try oracle cards check out this blog post.

Burning Ceremony

What holds you back from loving yourself more? What limiting beliefs do you hold onto that keep you small? What things about yourself do you struggle to love? What parts of yourself do you hide from yourself and from the world because deep down you believe in their unworthiness?

Get quiet, get your journal, and allow a stream-of-consciousness type of writing to flow until you feel like you’ve got it all out on the page.

Once you’ve poured your heart out, light a single white candle and hold your paper over the flame. Allow the negative energy, limiting beliefs, and your dislike for any part of yourself to burn up with the page.

Then, free-write to these questions: What do I love about myself? What is amazing about me? What am I grateful for? What parts of myself am I working on loving?

When you’re done, place this page on your altar and return to it anytime you feel those sticky, negative beliefs trying to creep back in.

Write a Self-Love Mantra

Writing your own self-love mantra is incredibly powerful because while there are many beautiful affirmations and mantras for self-love, you are unique and your journey with self-love is unique.

Write your own mantra that tells you exactly what you need to hear. Something kind, nonjudgmental, and compassionate that you might say to your sister or your best friend to let them know that you love them and they’re not alone.

Say it to yourself.

Write it on your mirror, on a piece of paper to tuck in your bag or place on your altar, or paint it in a picture (see ritual #1!), and return to it whenever you need it. Learn more about embracing the power of mantras here.

Heart Chakra Meditation

Inhale deeply into your heart chakra. Exhale out of your mouth, releasing all that doesn’t serve you. As you inhale, visualize a bud of green light glowing in your chest, blossoming bigger and brighter with each inhale as you strengthen this chakra. Allow the unconditional love to wash over you with your breath. If you'd like a guided meditation, you can click here for a meditation bundle done by me.

Herbal Bath for Self-Love

Turn bath into a ritual by using herbs, lighting candles, and playing whatever music or sounds help you relax and turn inward.

Try using rose-hips, lavender, elecampane, and balm of gilead to promote self-love. Rose-hips promote healing, compassion, and self-love. Lavender balances and calms while elecampane opens the heart chakra. Balm of gilead promotes love and helps you manifest your desires.

Simply fill a muslin bag with about a third of a cup of the herbs, loop the bundle onto the faucet, and let your tub fill with hot water as it runs through the bag. When it finishes filling, drop the bag into the water and let it infuse with the herbs for about 20 minutes.

For an extra dose of self-love, add a rose quartz crystal to your bath. For more herbal bath recipes, check out this blog post.

Create a Goddess Altar

Creating a goddess altar is a beautiful way to honor the divine feminine energy of the universe and the divine feminine energy within. Make this altar your own! Buy a statue of a Goddess who resonates with you, or just print out a photo online. If you’re not sure which Goddess you’d like to use, do some research! What Goddess energy would help you love yourself more? Some suggestions are:

• Greek Goddess Aphrodite for love, gratitude, and beauty

• Hindu Goddess Lakshmi for abundance and wealth

• East Asian Goddess Kuan Yin for mercy and compassion

• Hindu Goddess Kali for destruction, creation, and transformation

• Greek Goddess Artemis for independence, strength, and fearlessness

• Egyptian Goddess Isis for magic, healing, and protection

• Greek Goddess Athena for wisdom and courage

• Sumerian, Babylonian, and Phoenician goddess Inanna for sensuality and divine femininity in all its forms

Once you choose your goddess, add a white candle, incense, and maybe a cloth to your altar. Choose some objects that represent love to you and ask for help loving yourself. You can also put fresh flowers or a piece of fruit on your altar as an offering to the Goddess.

Goddesses are beautiful archetypes and energies to work with because they remind you that you, too, have this energy within you. You possess the abundance of Lakshmi, the compassion of Kuan Yin, the magic of Isis, and the transformative energy of Kali.

Living Your Truth // 7 Ways to Connect with Your Spirit Guides

Ever wish you had a team of all-knowing and enlightened beings to help you make hard decisions and put you at ease about being on the right path? This connection is available to you right now, and I’m going to help you tap into this wealth of wisdom.

Spirit guides are referenced in cultures and spiritual practices around the world. In my practice, rooted in British shamanism, my guides are an integral part of my practice. I encourage anyone interested in learning more about their guides to explore their cultural heritage (if that information is available, otherwise trust your intuition) in addition to this post. The tips I offer here are a great starting point, but doing further research in a practice that aligns with your roots will open communication channels for you and your guides even more.

Why Your Guides Want to Help You Live Your Truth?

The singular purpose of your spirit guides is to help you live to your fullest potential while you’re visiting the “Earth school.”

Some of your guides have been with you from birth and will be with you until you transition off this plane. They’re always here for you, ready to help, and they want nothing more than for you to succeed at living your truth.

Just because you’re not aware of them doesn’t mean they’re not there, and I’m going to share some tips and tools for you to get in contact with them, but first, let’s cover what a spirit guide is.

What are Spirit Guides?

Spirit guides are spiritual beings assigned to you at different times in your life to offer guidance, protect you, and remind you why you're here. Guides are assigned to you based on your current needs. Most people usually have one or a few guides with them throughout their lives, and others come and go based on need.

Spirit guides come in ALL shapes and sizes! Your guides can present as humans, animals, energy fields, elements, aliens, or any other combination! It's helpful to keep an open mind when it comes to working with your guides. One of my favorite stories about spirit guides is from Rachel Dratch’s memoir Girl Walks into a Bar (yeah yeah, I know, it doesn’t sound woo woo, but it is and is a great read too!). In her book, Rachel shares a story about going to a retreat to find her spirit guides, and she’s shocked to find out that her spirit guide is a glowing blue dot. This is later confirmed by a psychic who was unaware of her previous experience at the retreat.

Blue dots, animals, angels, fairies, and ancestors, you name it, can be a spirit guide. So, if you get a sense that your spirit guide is something unfamiliar to this earthly plane, it doesn’t mean that you’re losing touch with reality.

How to Connect with Your Spirit Guides

Connecting with your guides can take very little work on your part because they want to help you! They might be giving you loads of signs already, but because you’re not looking for them, you’re not seeing them. Before jumping into any of the below steps, I suggest taking 5-10 minutes to quiet your mind and ground yourself. You could do this by focusing on your breath, meditating, dancing, or chanting. Here are 7 easy ways to start connecting with your spirit guides regularly (I also created an infographic with some of them which you can find below for those who love visuals).

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cassie Uhl (@cassieuhl)

1. Use Oracle or Tarot Cards

Oracle and tarot cards are a simple tool for connecting with your spirit guides! If you have a favorite oracle or tarot card deck, any will do. However, if you have multiple decks, you'll likely find that your guides have specific decks that they prefer to communicate with you through. Before you begin, tap into your intuition to see if you receive any nudges about which deck to use.

First, sit quietly, focus on your breath, and ask your spirit guides to come to you. As I share above, begin by asking your guides which deck they’d like you to pull from (if you have multiple decks). Next, focus on the question you want to ask your guides as you shuffle your cards.

Ask your spirit guides your questions aloud or in your mind, ask them for their guidance and help. Be clear about what you want. Spread out your cards and choose the card(s) that you feel called to. Always thank your guides for helping you once you’re finished.

2. Ask for Their Names

A simple but powerful tool to connect with your guides is to ask for their names.  Answers can be shared with you in various ways, depending on how you sense extra-sensory (psychic) information. You may have an inner knowing, see a name in your mind, hear a name in your mind, or begin seeing or hearing the same name throughout your day. All are valid. Trust the information you receive.

I was shocked by how quickly one of the names of my guides came to me simply by asking. Knowing the name of your guide(s) will help strengthen your bond with them, and when you need help, you can call out them by name. Keep in mind, that the names you receive may be unfamiliar to you because your guides are not always earthly beings.

3. Ask for Signs

Usually, your guides are already doing this! By asking for signs, you make a declaration that you will try to be more present and aware of receiving them.

If you’re looking for proof of your guides being nearby you, ask them for signs. Be as specific as you’d like. You might be surprised by how spot-on your guides can be! One of the signs I use to know my ancestral guides are nearby is feathers, and I always see more of them when I ask for this sign.

You can also ask for signs about decisions or struggles you’re having. If you’re making some difficult decisions, ask for signs about how you should proceed. Be on the lookout for answers that might pop into your head or opportunities that seem to arise from out of nowhere. Be open to these signs being different or unexpected than what you imagined. Your guides have your highest good in mind, even if the signs they’re sending to you seem out of place.

4. Write a Letter

If you’re struggling to connect with your guides, writing them a letter can be a powerful tool. Allow yourself 20-30 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time to write to them. Write out all of the questions you have for your guides, any struggles you’re having, and what kind of support you feel you need from them.

Once you’ve finished writing, allow yourself 5-10 minutes of quiet reflection. Check in and ask yourself how you feel, if you have any clarity around the things you need help with, or if you feel the presence of your spirit guides. You may find it helpful to place your letter next to your bed as you sleep to inspire messages from your guides while you dream, which brings me to my next suggestion.

5. Ask for a Dream or Meditation Visitation

If you’re a particularly visual person, you might want to see your spirit guides. Asking for a dream or meditation visitation can help with this and make them seem more real.

To request a dream visitation, before you go to bed, ask your guides to come to you in your dreams. To request a meditation visitation as your guides to come to you while in meditation. Journey meditations can be very beneficial for working with your guides in this way. You can find several free journey meditations online with a simple search or even find someone with a shamanic background to guide you through a journey to find your guides. Journey meditations are powerful and can be extremely transformative. Get a free Spirit Guides Meditation here.

Remember, the way that your guide asserts themselves could come through to you as an inner knowing, feeling, or visualization. Learn more about the different ways you can experience extrasensory information here.

6. Recruit the Use of a Pendulum

Pendulums are another powerful and simple tool for connecting with your guides. If you’re not familiar with pendulums, check out this post here to learn more about them and the basics of using one.

To use a pendulum to connect with your guides, start by quieting your mind, focus intently on requesting the presence of your guide(s), and then ask your question. Pendulums work best with “yes” or “no” answers, so be sure that you’re asking a question that can be answered with “yes” or “no.” Write “yes” and “no” on a paper, focus on your question, and hold your pendulum over each answer and note when your pendulum starts moving. This is just one method for using a pendulum. Check out my previous post about pendulums noted above or the Pendulums in Practice Workshop here.

7. Ask Them Questions Often

Talk to your guides and ask them questions often. Always be specific in your questions. It will be easier for them to answer you. Talk to them aloud or in your mind, as if they’re a dear friend. The more comfortable you become at relying on them for their assistance, the easier it will be for you to connect with them.

Your guides are always there waiting and wanting to help you! I hope you use these tools so you can take full advantage of the help of your spirit guides.

The Ultimate Guide to Caring for Your Tarot & Oracle Cards

Now that you have your magical Moon Phase Ritual Cards from last week's post, I thought it would be a perfect time to give you an ultimate guide for taking care of your tarot and oracle cards!

Have a growing collection of oracle and tarot cards that you’re always adding to? If you’ve got a growing collection, you probably don’t use all of those cards every day. You most likely have your favorite decks that you gravitate towards, decks you use rarely, and decks that you let other people use.

Your oracle and tarot cards can pick up vibes from other people, yourself, and accumulate stagnant energy. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to keep your decks energetically fresh so you receive and give the best readings.

These tips will work for tarot and oracle alike, they will also work for our free printable decks like our Zenned Out Mini Oracle Cards and our Moon Phase Ritual Cards. Here’s my ultimate list for taking care of your favorite decks!

Listen to Your Cards

Use your intuition. Ask your tarot and oracle cards what they need, and go with your gut. Have a deck that feels like it wants to be kept separate from your other decks, give it a special space of its own. Have a deck that you feel is pining for some grounding energy, put a little smoky quartz near it.

If you decide to try something new with one of your decks, be extra aware of any energetic signals you may get from them on the new change. The best part is, if you’re using your oracle or tarot cards regularly you’re already honing your intuition, and this is another opportunity to refine your intuitive skills.

Spread Cloth

Create a sacred space for reading your cards with a spread cloth. Traditionally these have been used for tarot but will work just as well for oracle cards.

Energetically speaking, using a spread cloth gives you and your cards a sacred space for reading wherever you are. It adds another layer to the ritual of reading your cards. Bonus, if you read in other places, it will help keep your cards clean.

Deciding on a spread cloth can be simple and inexpensive. There are many are beautiful handmade options on Etsy but you might already have something perfect at home like a silk scarf. Color carries a lot of energetic weight, so I suggest doing some research on color meanings before deciding on your spread cloth.

Cleanse Often

If you’ve had some off readings that didn’t feel quite right it might be time to give your cards a good energetic cleanse. Another reason to cleanse your cards is if they’ve been sitting for a while and haven’t been used. Stagnant decks will pick up all sorts of vibes, so it’s a great time to cleanse them.

Here are three quick and easy ways to lift any bad vibes or stagnant energy from your oracle or tarot cards.

1. Salt Bath: No water needed for this bath, simply set your cards in a tray of sea salt or Himalayan pink salt and let the salt soak up any unwanted vibes.

2. Smoke cleanse: Light your favorite herb and let your cards be bathed in the smoke of it to cleanse them. I recommend exploring some plants that are related to your ancestral lineage, some options of herbs are lavender, mugwort, cedar, rosemary. If you want to add some extra fun you can use tools like cauldrons or smoke wands.

3. Full Moon: Lay your cards in the light of the moon for an energetic refresh. Of course, each moon phase will have its own effect. You can use our Moon Phase Ritual Cards to get an idea of what kind of energy each phase will imbue them with.

Protect Your Cards

You may not want to keep your cards in the box they came in. If you don’t, it’s important that they have a special place to live and have some protection.

Here are some options for protecting your oracle and tarot decks:

• Cloth bag: Similar to the spread cloth, the color of the bag you choose matters. Use your intuition and do some research on color meanings to determine the best color bag for your deck.

• Wooden box: This is perfect for a deck you feel is calling out for an earthy vessel. A box will also offer additional protection if you travel with them.

• Wrap them in your spread cloth: Your spread cloth can serve dual purposes and will work well as a protective cover for your cards

• Crystals: Place a crystal on top of your deck, in the bag, or in the box with your cards to offer a layer of energetic protection. You can never go wrong with clear quartz!

Connect with Your Cards

One of the most important things you can do to care for your cards is to connect with them. The more you connect with them the more you’ll know how to take care of them intuitively. Here are two of my favorite techniques for connecting with your tarot and oracle cards.Sleep with them under your pillow or on your nightstand. This tip comes from guest blog post writer Brittney Carmichael. She mentioned in a previous post,

“Sleep with one card under your pillow each night to allow your subconscious mind to create symbols and meanings for the cards. Your tarot cards are like personal love notes from your soul and will help to guide you along your spiritual path of awakening.”

Take time to look at each card. If you’re feeling disconnected from your deck, take a few quiet moments to sit down and look at each card. Similar to sleeping with a card under your pillow, this will give you an opportunity to connect with the symbolism of your cards and become attuned to their energy.

I recently cleansed all my decks and gave some of my favorite decks a special home or crystal. I was surprised by the change when I did this! I immediately felt more in tune with my cards and my readings have felt more on point. I hope you find the same is true for you and your cards!

Rituals for Every Moon Phase & Printable Moon Cards

Want to start harnessing the power of the moon, but don’t know where to start? There are simple and powerful things you can do for each moon phase. Scrolling through your Instagram feed, you might just think the full moon and the new moon are the only times worthy of your time. Not true, there is a special meaning behind each phase of our glorious moon Goddess!

I created a simple and beautiful deck of ritual moon cards so you can better use your moon phase calendar. To get your printable moon cards, click here.

How to Use this Deck

None of these rituals require you to have anything except some time, space, and maybe a pen and paper. I do provide optional additions to each ritual that include accompanying tools like crystals, but they are all optional! Even better, you do not have to do these rituals in order. If the mood hits to do a moon phase ritual for the waning gibbous, but you didn’t do the ritual for the full moon, that’s fine!

Click here to download your free moon phase ritual cards from your email, print them on card stock paper, cut, laminate them if you wish, and use your moon phase calendar to see what phase you’re currently on. There are instructions for assembling your moon phase ritual cards within the free download. Don’t want to download a deck? You can simply check out my rituals below.

New Moon

☾ Themes: New beginnings, openness, hope

☾ Action: Allow 5 minutes of quiet solitude. Think about what changes, gifts, or manifestations you’d like to bring into your life. If lost ask for guidance from the universe, be open.

☾Optional: Light a white candle for newness and purity.

You can also check out this blog post for a new moon card spread.

Waxing Crescent Moon

☾ Themes: Set intentions, declare, cleanse

☾ Action: Create a list of 3 goals or manifestations you’d like to realize. Speak your list out loud. Put your list somewhere visible.

☾Optional: Cleanse your space with a smoke wand or herb.

First Quarter Moon

☾ Themes: Focus, momentum, face your fears

☾ Action: Choose one goal or manifestation you’re focusing on, commit to taking one action towards making it a reality within the next 24 hours.

☾ Optional: Tell one trusted soul your action to hold you accountable.

Waxing Gibbous Moon

☾ Themes: Refine, adapt, align

☾ Action: Allow a quiet moment, ask the universe for signs on how you can better align with your intentions.

☾Optional: Using divination tools like oracle cards, tarot, or runes, ask the universe for clear instructions on moving forward.

Full Moon

☾ Themes: Harvest, celebrate, gratitude

☾ Action: Write a gratitude list that includes everything you’ve accomplished over the last two weeks.

☾Optional: Let the moon's special relationship with water amplify any goals that have not yet come to fruition. Write down intentions you’re still working on, place the paper in a bowl of water under the light of the moon.

Waning Gibbous

☾ Themes: Reflect, meditate, receive

☾ Action: Meditate for 5 minutes. Before you begin ask the universe to shed light on your progress, or lack of progress, with your intentions. Receive and allow.

☾Optional: Take a bath with frankincense and myrrh essential oils to allow extra time for reflection. These scents will help you meditate and better tune into your inner knowledge.

Last Quarter Moon

☾ Themes: Release, surrender, let go

☾ Action: Choose something to remove from your life that is no longer serving you, a physical object, personality trait, or relationship. Write it on a piece of paper and burn it in a cauldron or other fireproof vessel.

☾Optional: Get in touch with your shadow side by tapping into the energy of the Goddess Kali.

Waning Crescent

☾ Themes: Accept, forgive, allow

☾ Action: Lay down for 5 minutes, mentally scan each part of your body, take notice of any areas you feel resistance. Be present with any resistance you feel in your body and offer it love.

☾Optional: Carry a piece of rose quartz with you to offer loving support during this sometimes painful process.

Dark Moon

This phase is often ignored, but I find it to be an important phase to recognize.

☾ Themes: Rest, self-care, reflection

☾ Action: Take everything in, relax, do nothing. Allow yourself space and time to simply be.

☾ Optional: Lay down, place a quartz crystal on your third eye and allow its subtle energy to wash over you, heal you, and calm you.

I hope you adore your deck of moon ritual cards and are inspired to have some moon rituals of your own! Be sure to tag @cassieuhl on social media to show off your deck.

Cord Cutting a Ritual for Letting Go

What are you holding onto right now that you’re afraid to let go of? Is it a career that you thought was your life’s calling, something hurtful someone said to you, a relationship gone south, or your lack of control over a situation?

If you haven’t already been faced with one of these “letting go” hurdles, it’s likely you will at some point. The need to let go comes in all shapes and sizes throughout life and might be some of the hardest tasks you’ll face.

Why is it important to let go?

Holding on can take up a lot of unnecessary headspaces, leaving you anywhere but in the present moment. When you’re afraid to let go, it’s usually your ego that’s in control, and no one wants that! Refusing to let go means you’re also refusing to trust that you’ll be taken care of and that the universe does have a plan for you.

This week I’m breaking out my favorite ways to help you let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back from your highest potential. These rituals can be done on separate days or all together as one big ritual, your choice! Let’s get started.

Step 1: Burn Baby, Burn

Time to get out your candles and cauldron. The first step is to recognize what it is that you’re trying to let go of and become willing to work on it. A burning ritual can help make this decision more concrete for you.

You’ll need:

• Black and white candle. The white candle is for protective loving light and black candle is to help absorb negative energy, but any candle will work if you don’t have these colors available. Click here to learn more about candle magick.

• Pen and paper

• Cauldron or other fireproof vessels

• Optional: Frankincense EO or incense. Frankincense will help you center yourself and let go. I like using Plant Guru’s Meditation blend.

The best moon phase to perform this ritual is during a waning moon. Set aside some quiet time, and center yourself with as many deep breaths as you need to feel calm and present.

To get started, light both of your candles and incense, if you’re using it. Write what you need to let go of on a piece of paper. Light the paper with the flame of each candle and place it in your fireproof vessel. Watch and breathe as your paper burns, allow any feelings you have to come to the surface. This is also a great time to call upon any angels, deities, or energy you’d like to invite in to help you through this process.

When you feel like this part of the ritual is complete, thank any spiritual energies that you invited in and blow out your candles. You can leave this setup and the ashes of your burned paper out as long as you’d like as a reminder.

Step 2: Cord-Cutting Ceremony

This is my personal favorite ritual for letting go. I discovered it from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and is the suggested ritual when you receive the Lilith Goddess card.

You’ll need:

• String. Must be strong enough to be worn for a long period of time.

• Scissors

• Candles, incense, EO (optional and can be the same as above)

This ceremony should also be performed during a waning moon. it blends well into the first ritual and I recommend performing them in tandem, though they do not have to be. If you do start this ceremony separately from the above one, be sure to set aside time to quiet your mind and center yourself.

To begin this ritual, start by deciding where your cord should be tied on your body. You’ll want to tie the string somewhere that connects with what you’re letting go of. If what you’re letting go of has something to do with work and you use your hands you might decide to tie it around your wrist, if you’re walking away from something you could tie it around your ankle, if it has something to do with your creative center you could tie it around your belly.

As you tie your cord on your body say out loud what the cord represents and what it is you’re trying to let go of. Wear this cord for the rest of the moon cycle, or longer if you feel it is necessary, as a reminder of your commitment to let go. When you feel that you are ready to let go and cut the cord, prepare a quiet space to do so. Thank yourself for your commitment and willingness to be more present and let go.

Step 3: Visualize & Verbalize

During this process, you may find that your desire to hold on becomes even stronger. It’s normal and is usually your ego screaming at you to stay in control! Here are some tools to use to keep your ego in check through this process.

Voice and movement are powerful tools to reinforce your commitment to let go. Here are my favorite supportive tools to use:

• Woodchopper yoga pose with a loud “HA” exhale

• Lion’s pose

• Allow time to shake it out, dance it out, and/or yell it out

• Wear a reminder of your commitment to let go.

• Create a vision board of what your life would look like if you did let go, and place it somewhere you’ll see it regularly.

• Create a mantra about what you’re letting go of. Write it down somewhere and place it where you’ll see it regularly.

• Journal. Write out all of your fears associated with what you’re letting go of. I find that if I write out my fears and look at them, many of them are pretty silly and things I don’t have any control over in the first place.

• Above all, be gentle with yourself!

Letting go can be hard but I hope my offerings give you the tools you need to move forward in your healing journey. Sending you strength and peace through your process of letting go!

5 Simple Steps to Get Started with Shadow Work

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.

It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.

There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them. By integrating your shadow side, you become whole.

As with all deep work, sometimes a qualified professional is needed. If you feel you need help from a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, healer, or even a friend, I encourage you to do so. Facing the parts of ourselves often ignored can be difficult, especially if you've faced particularly traumatic events in your life.

I invite you to approach these offerings as ancillary allies to a shadow work practice. Here are four simple steps to help you get started with shadow work.

1. Practice Mindfulness

I mentioned in my last post that much of shadow work is becoming aware of how you’re projecting your shadow onto others and being triggered. Imagine your triggers as little notes from your shadow self.

The most effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and catch those projections and triggers is through mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to commit to 30 minutes of silent meditation a day; a simple 5 minutes can really go a long way. If you need some pointers on how to start meditating, check out this earlier blog post on 8 quick tips to “be here now.”

2. Connect with Goddesses Associated with Shadow Work

There are Goddesses worldwide across cultures who correspond with the parts of life we're often told to keep to ourselves or ignore. Each Goddess below offers unique wisdom concerning shadow work. There are many more Goddesses and Gods to connect with

Kali

Kali is the wild and intense-looking Hindu Goddess of time, death, destruction, and rebirth. She is often shown with skulls around her neck and one in her hand. Morbid as it may seem, these skulls actually represent the death of the ego. Even though the image of Kali may be jarring or even scary, she is the personification of shadow and can help you get in touch with darker aspects of your ego that you may be avoiding.

Lillith

The Goddess Lilith has roots in several cultures and religions including ancient Sumeria and Christianity. She's referred to as both a demon and a seductive sex Goddess. Lilith is in touch with her sexuality which has caused men to fear her. She represents equality between men and women. Connect with Lilith to explore any sexual shadows you may have hidden.

Hecate

Hecate is a Greek Goddess of witchcraft and magic, she's closely related to ghosts and death. Hecate is often shown standing at a fork in the road as a reminder to examine our motives clearly before making a decision. She offers protection and wisdom. Hecate is perfect to work with if you're going through transitions. Ask for her guidance to shed light on the shadow side of changes you are going through.

Once you’ve found a goddess or god that you connect with, place a card, picture, or statue of her on your altar or in a place you’ll see it regularly to offer inspiration while meditating or journaling.

One of my favorite ways to connect with the goddesses is through The Goddess Oracle card deck. It doesn’t shy away from the dark goddesses, and my readings are always so powerful when they show up!

3. Create an Altar Space to Explore your Shadow Side

Altars are powerful healing tools. Much like a sacred container, your altar can hold space and energy for difficult emotions, traumas, and experiences. An altar can be as small or large as you'd like. It serves as a physical representation of what you're working on or working through. Small objects, tarot or oracle cards, crystals, herbs, pictures, or journal entries, etc., could all be parts of an altar. Learn more about creating an altar here.

To implement an altar for shadow work, start by selecting some representative items of what you're working through. It could be as simple as a black candle and a piece of rose quartz. Use the altar space to meditate at, call upon some of the Goddesses mentioned above, cry, yell, journal, process. When you're done, leave the energy you created at your altar space. You can go about your day knowing your feelings are safe at your altar, ready to be revisited when you're ready. The altar space will also serve as a reminder of your commitment to integrating your shadow.

4. Work with Supportive Crystals

Several crystals can be used for helping you with shadow work, but these are my favorites. Here are my top 3 picks for crystals to recruit for starting shadow work:

Snowflake Obsidian

This grounding stone is my top pick for shadow work. It can help open the door to your shadow side by bringing emotions, patterns, and fears to the surface. Black obsidian is also good for shadow work, but the balancing flecks of white in the snowflake version soften and balance its energy nicely.

Blue Kyanite

This stone is the softer, subtle version of snowflake obsidian. If you’re looking for a very gentle introduction to shadow work, kyanite is your stone, or you can just add it to your shadow work crystal collection! Kyanite comes with a host of other benefits but is helpful for recalling old memories and working through obstacles.

Rose Quartz

Shadow work will most likely bring up strong emotions for you. It’s important to bring in some soothing self-love energy while diving into shadow work, and rose quartz is the mother of loving vibes!This quote really says it all.

“If darkness is the absence of Love, then the most effective tonic to use in healing internal shadow is self-love. The more love we flow into our deepest wounds and darkest emotions, the quicker we are able to clear and raise our vibration.” - Jennifer Diamond

Place your shadow work crystal on your altar or in a place you’ll see them regularly. Another good alternative is to wear these stones for a beautiful and powerful reminder of your intention to do shadow work.

5. Draw, Paint, Write & Journal

You may find that tapping into your shadow side is more difficult than you thought. If you find yourself stuck in positivity mode, grab a pen or paintbrush and spend some time journaling and creating. Allow yourself time to create and/or journal without any outcomes in mind and let your subconscious flow. You might be surprised what naturally comes up when you commit yourself to some no expectation creative time.

This is the perfect time to keep some snowflake obsidian or kyanite nearby to help bring your darker side to the surface.

I also created an infographic for those who like visuals, and I added more ways to process shadow work.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cassie Uhl (@cassieuhl)

Shadow work is not a one-and-done kind of deal. This is work that will happen over a lifetime. Every time you uncover and process one thing, you'll usually find there's more underneath. It's part of the process of being a whole human.